Ted is the only playable character in the scavenging section of the game. If Ted fails to reach the fallout shelter in time, he will dive to the floor, and the player will be given the "The End" screen. This happens even if all other family members got into the shelter on time.
Ted has 4 weight slots to hold items when scavenging. Some things take up multiple weight slots, such as family members, guns, the suitcase, and the axe.
Ted is American, with black hair and is slightly overweight. He appears to obviously age, as over time his beard and hair grows thicker and longer. He wears a white shirt, a brown overcoat, an orange tie, and brown/gray trousers. He rests his head on his left arm when he's not tired. When insane, a sock puppet will appear on Ted's left hand (it will have a stich if Ted is also fatigued and will have bandages if Ted is also injured), and it will eventually convince him to leave the shelter. When dead, he will be a skeleton slumped over the table. In the 60 Seconds! promo, he wears a white shirt, brown pants and black shoes, as well wearing a chef hat and a white apron.
- When Ted is insane for too long, his sock puppet "convinces" him to leave the shelter.
- Ted's facial hair will grow throughout time from a stubble to a lumberjack beard and the beard shaving event triggers when the beard is fully grown.
- If Ted goes crazy, it will eventually lead to him destroying the Map, Water Bottle, a Soup Can, or the Gas Mask.
- Ted is actually very caring to his family, as shown in one of the insane events where he boxes the Gas Mask.
- Ted is one of the three characters that seems to age. The others are Timmy and Mary Jane (who have birthdays).
- He is the only character that must make it to the fallout shelter, as the game can be played with just him.
- If Ted is the only one in the fallout shelter, he will go insane on day 2. You can increase his sanity back to normal with events effectively "resetting" his timer on leaving the shelter, but Ted will go crazy again the next day every time he reaches sanity again.
- If there is an option for an event, and there is no option to choose a person to do it, it will always be Ted who completes the event.
- If Ted is not in the fallout shelter while everyone else is will be an instant game over as the rest of the family relies on Ted to keep the family together and help with situations.
- Ted weirdly enough can survive an unusually long time without eating any Soup Cans, this behavior is often seen on Timmy, too, albeit to a higher level.
- According to one of the DLC countdown posts, the Suitcase presumaly belongs to Ted's great grandfather.
- Ted is allergic to cats, as shown that he will always get sick if Sharikov is allowed to come to the shelter.
- Ted is the only character that always has his legs in the same position, no matter his status.
- After death, There is a chance Ted's skeleton will "Transform" into a blue-colored-robotic skeleton, with his eyes showing out of the sockets(As of now, the cause for that is unknown). This change will be undone the day after. This might be a reference to the developers, "Robot Gentleman.